Faith, fellowship, and Dunbar’s law

We are told to “forsake not fellowshipping together” with other believers and “don’t be unequally yoked with darkness.”

These twin kinds of commands are often stereotyped in our mind (along with others) as a kind of attitude that withdraws from the world and has no friendship with nonbelievers (certainly not “fellowship”).

To stress matters further, Dunbar’s law suggests the average person only has mental and scheduling and logistical room for, on average, about 15 close, face to face friendships. These are the ones where we spend time with the other, and where they have the most influence on us, and we on them.

Once you account for family, there’s not a lot of relational slots left over. Christians in majority Christian countries tend to prioritize these toward other believers. You’ve got your Christian business men’s breakfast, your Wednesday night Bible study, your youth groups… Before long, there’s no time for people or relationships outside these circles.

So social forces, scripture interpretations and simple scheduling leads us to a situation where 86% of Muslims, Hindus, and Buddhists don’t personally have a friendship with a believer. It’s not the entire cause, but certainly in the west it’s a driver.

How to break out of this, is a question we all need to ask of ourselves.