Statistics and soulmates

Here’s an interesting question which is sure (well, probably sure) to stir up some passionate conversation: is there such a thing as a soul mate? Is it possible that there is one – and only one – person for you?

Sorry, my answer is: I don’t know.

But I was thinking today that statistics – and sin – make it very difficult to find each other, if that’s the case.

First, consider the male/female ratio. Worldwide, the ratio is pretty close to 1:1 – it’s 101 males to 100 females. But that’s the global average. Obviously, in some places, it’s pretty skewed. China has a male-to-female ratio of about 113 males for 100 females. India has a ratio of 109 to 100. Many places are skewed in favor of males. Places where there’s a lot of warfare see the balance tip the other way.

Another issue is the number of people removed from the “marriage pool.” Part of this is the issue of homosexuality; when the two ratios are fairly close together but there is a large number of homosexuals (either male or female) it will alter the possible number of heretosexual matches. That’s an issue in the United States, for example: with a 1:1 ratio, but about twice as many homosexual men as homosexual women, many heterosexual women are “left standing” without a partner.

Complicating that is the number of people who choose not to get married, for whatever reason. Singleness can clearly be a gift from God – but I’m not so sure that all the people who are single are choosing that because it’s a spiritual calling. Cohabitation is far more frequent yet actually lowers the odds of a successful marriage.

The odds may be one reason why Eharmony and similar services are doing so well.

I count myself as blessed to have found my soulmate. Even if you don’t believe in soul mates, if you did, it would be her. “He who finds a wife finds a good thing.”

In the meantime, I think the church has a function in this society of helping people discover whether their calling is to be single or married (both options are declared “good” in God’s Word), and then helping them proceed down the path chosen.